New Year

I was reflecting on the past year today...as many of us do on the last day of the year.  This year has had a lot of ups and downs...good and bad...happy and sad....
In April I celebrated another year with my boyfriend...making that 5 amazing years together.  I feel extremely lucky for each and every year that we spend together.
In May I graduated from San Francisco State University.  This was a huge milestone in my life, and an event I will never forget.
Also in May, my brother graduated from Junior High.  It was pretty crazy watching him become a high schooler!
In June I got a new job and thought that I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my future.
In July, my parents celebrated 28 years together and me and my brothers were able to send them to Rascal Flatts to celebrate!
In August I watched my brother play in his first college football game.  As his sister, knowing how long he had waited for this, I was extremely proud!
In October, my Grandma was in a car accident that left her with a broken back and resulted in both she and my Grandpa moving in with us.
In November, my brother hurt his neck in a football game and was unable to finish the season.
In December, I quit my job.
In December, my brother moved home from school.
In December, everything I thought I had figured out about my future...I realized I hadn't.

Life has a funny way of surprising us.
Just when you think you are on the right track...something derails you.
It can be overwhelming, and exhausting, and completely confusing.  But at the same time, life is incredible.
It teaches you things every single day.

This year I learned a lot about myself.
Im thankful for the trials that showed me my strength.  Im thankful for the hard times that helped me to grow.  Im thankful for the people in my life who held me up when I couldn't hold myself.  Im thankful for the opportunities God gave me this year and I look forward to the journey he has in store for me in 2012.

Thanksgiving Living

We've been doing a series at church about Thanksgiving Living and the idea of living with an attitude of gratitude every single day.  On this Thanksgiving Day, I was a little overwhelmed by how true the need for this is.  I logged onto Facebook this morning and was bombarded with a newsfeed full of thanksgiving.  What a great thing to read!  Each status was an outpouring of thanks rather than the usual complaining and smack talk I usually see.  I will admit I am guilty of this as well.  I often share with the Facebook world when I am having a frustrating day, or when my head is hurting, or when something bad is going on.  I try to refrain from complaining about every little thing thats going on in my life because I find that utterly annoying-but sometimes I fall into the trend.

But, what if we didn't do that every single day of our lives?  

What if we just had one day full of complaining, and all the other days were just like Thanksgiving?

In the morning, we all woke up and immediately started feeling thankful for things.  Throughout the day we took time out to remind others of why we were thankful for them.  And at night before we went to bed, we didn't lay down and recall all the bad, annoying, frustrating things of the day, but instead we reminisced on all the good things of the day...all the many little things we have to be thankful for.
This will be a challenge for me.  I tend to live a little more glass half empty than full.  But I truly don't want to continue that kind of thinking.  I want to be the type of person who celebrates Thanksgiving Living every single day.  It's a habit that must be practiced and learned, but I plan to try.
And what better time to start than on the Thanksgiving day we celebrate with the rest of the world?

So, Today,
I am thankful for my God-who is there for me and loves me-all of the time-no matter what.
I am thankful for my family-who has stood by me every step of my journey and continues to help me grow and learn every day-God has truly blessed me with such a wonderful family.
I am thankful for my boyfriend-who encourages me and loves me at my worst-who looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am when I feel like crap-and who I cannot imagine going through life without.
I am thankful for the friends in my life who let me be me and love me despite my faults and shortcomings.
I am thankful for the freedom and security that this country provides for us-I know its not perfect, and I know people are often upset by how things are run-but when you REALLY think about it, and you really get down to it, all of us who live in this free place, are extremely lucky.
I am thankful that even though I may not always do the right things, and I may not always respond the right way, there is always room for growth and opportunity in another day.
I am thankful for today, and everyday that I am alive.
And Im thankful that this thankful list could go on for many more "Im thankful for's".  That feels like a good start to Thanksgiving Living.


Happy Thanksgiving everyone....and remember there is always, always, ALWAYS, something to be thankful for.

Clothe Yourself.

I was wasting time on my newest addiction-pinterest-when I came across this photo:

For me, getting dressed is a very important part of my day.  I know that sounds silly, but I have always felt that a persons style is a form of self expression.  I love picking out my outfit for the day, and accessorizing it.   I always try to look my best, and I put effort into my appearance.  This is usually a bit of a process.  I won't lie, it takes me a good amount of time to get ready in the morning.  I won't share how long, because its not really an increment of time Im proud of.  I will just say it takes me longer to get ready then it should.

Usually as I get ready I also have my computer playing an episode of a show I missed, or on youtube playing songs off my playlist.  It's the same routine every single day.

This photo made me think though....why don't I spend the same amount of time clothing my emotional self as I do clothing my physical self?  Everyday I put on a shirt.  Everyday I put on pants.  Everyday I put on shoes.  But, do I remember to put on compassion everyday?  Do I clothe myself in kindness and humility?  Do I remind myself to be patient every morning and on into my day?  The answer to these questions, is sadly-NO.  I don't take the same care, or thought, with these things as I do with the clothing that I put on my physical body.

I have a feeling that walking around without compassion, kindness, humility, and patience, is just as bad (if not worse) then walking around completely naked-and I REALLY don't want to do that.

So this week:  I challenge myself to focus a little more on how Im clothing my inside, and a little less on worrying about the outside.     

That's enough.

Do you ever have that feeling like you just don't measure up?  Like everything, and everyone around you just makes you feel so small and insignificant?
Lately, I've been feeling a little that way...okay a lot that way.
I want to do the right things, but I feel like I keep doing them wrong.  I'm trying to say the right things, but i just word vomit up the wrong stuff.  Its so hard when you are trying to explain how something makes you feel, and every word you say just seems to make things worse.  The to everyone else you come out sounding like a brat, but on the inside all you feel is insecure, unheard, and completely misunderstood.  It's so frustrating when you try so incredibly hard to do the right things, and you still come out in the wrong.
That's how I feel right now.
In all aspects of my life.
I'm trying all day, everyday, to be enough....and I just don't measure up.


In thinking about these feelings, I remembered these words from a church song that I love...

"And all of you, is more than enough for all of me,

 for every thirst and every need, you satisfy me, and all I have in you is more than enough.  

More than all i want, more than all I need.  You are more than enough for me.  

More than all I know, more than all i can say, you are more than enough for me."

...and I realize, I am not enough, nor will I ever be enough if I keep looking for that satisfaction in all the wrong places.  I don't need to be enough for you, or you, or even you.  I just need to be enough for HIM, and know that He is more than enough for me.

I'm done striving to "measure up" to those around me.  The people who have mauled my beliefs of who I am and what I'm worth.  Im done looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places.  And I no longer will seek acknowledgment, or approval, from those who wish to tell me what I am and am not capable and worthy of.  I am loved by the only one who "is love" and therefore I am worthy of all that he provides.  I am worthy of his greatness.  And through him I am enough.

 

Practicing Faith.

Sometimes life just feels heavy...and scary.  As I shared in my last post-our house is now quite chaotic with the addition of my grandparents.  Things with them are pretty much the same.  My grandma is continuing with her rehab, and the nurses are still trying to find the right combination of medication that will help with the pain-which seems to still be very intense.  My grandpa is as busy, and confused as ever.  This morning he tried to turn the TV on with my cell phone, and when my computer started playing music he thought my phone was receiving a message.  He is absolutely hilarious-and at the same time, watching him scares me to death.  I have an extreme fear of death...at certain times in my life this fear has been literally crippling to me...its something I am constantly trying to deal with.  I heard in a worship song one Sunday morning the words, "As I walk from earth into eternity..."  What a peaceful image of death...I try to hang on to that thought, and remind myself of those words when I am feeling scared...and I practice faith.  I try to remember that God has this all planned out...and its really up to him how this all goes.  Thats a hard concept to grasp, and a hard thing to let go of.  But surely if he gave up his life for me, then I can trust him with mine.

This past weekend my brother came home from school for a visit, and to get a little support before going back for a doctors appointment.  My brother plays college football and during his last game he injured his neck.  As a result of whatever he injured, he is now experiencing some numbness down his arms and into his hands-talk about scary.  He went in yesterday for some X-rays and those came back showing nothing so tomorrow he goes in for an MRI.  I am praying for him, and thinking of him constantly-but ultimately Im trying to step out in faith.  To know that God already knows whats wrong, and that it's all a part of his plan.

Even when life seems heavy...unfair...complicated...you just have to keep the faith.  Remember that God has a bigger, far better plan than anything you can possibly imagine.  That life is just a journey, full of events, that keep you walking on into eternity.

    

A little bit of this-and a little bit of that.

I am officially the worst blogger EVER.  Multiple times a day i think to myself 'I should write about that in my blog!' and then I never seem to find the time.

So here is an update of the last month and a half...and here's to trying to be better at keeping up on this thing.

Life:
This past month has been kind of nuts.  First of all I should update you all on my last post...my new job opportunity.  I did end up turning that down.  I realize many people will find that incredibly stupid but I still feel I made the best decision for me at this time.  I am learning a lot, and am looking forward to future opportunities that Im sure will still come along.  I tried to make the smartest possible decision for me that would in the long run benefit me in the most ways.  I felt that by accepting that position I would be in a way setting myself up for failure.  I know, I know...how do you know if you never try?...but honestly I was lacking so many things that I would need to succeed in that position.  The first of which was simply time.  I had literally been with the company for 60 days-thats not even out of probation.  While I still consider the offer a great honor, it was not the right time for this.  Maybe someday.  But I have a feeling I will end up going in a different direction.

Then my grandma was in a car accident.  It was the first rainy day of the season and the roads were a mess.  There were accidents everywhere, and my grandma was involved in one of them.  She was driving on the freeway when she was sideswiped and pushed into the median.  She suffered broken ribs, a broken collarbone, broken bones in her back, and her car was totaled.  I was at work that day, and my parents didn't tell me what had happened until I got home that night because they didn't want me to be worrying all day long.  We went to visit her in ICU that night.  I hate ICU.  I hate hospitals...period.  ICU was full of other car accident victims that night.  In the room next to my grandmas was a boy my age who had been in a head on collision with a big rig.  He had undergone brain surgery that morning and it was still uncertain whether or not he would ever wake up.  I watched as his family and friends cried and tried to comfort one another in the halls.  Two rooms down from him was another young gentleman who had been in a car accident as well.  He too had suffered brain injuries...but his family had already been told he wouldn't make it.  While I was there that night, at least 10 people came to see him and say there goodbyes.  I found out he passed away the next morning.  I went to visit my grandma several times that week in ICU.  That I know of at least 3 people didn't make it...I still don't know what happened to the boy my age with brain injuries...but I still pray for him and his family often.  I felt a little guilty that week in ICU.  Even though my grandma had been hurt, and I know she was in so much pain, I couldn't help but feel so fortunate.  She was moving, and breathing, and eating, and speaking-all on her own and on minimal machines.  There were people all over the place who looked like robots with all of their attachments.  It made me feel guilty and extremely lucky all at the same time.
Two years ago I lost my other grandma.  And a year and a half ago I lost a man who was like a father to me.  I know that pain and I've felt that loss that they were feeling.  You feel extremely connected to those people you share a hospital wing with.  Even though you don't know them...you can't help but feel that connection of shared experience, and my heart broke every time I went to visit my grandma.  Selfishly for me, that week she was in ICU was really hard...I can't imagine how she must have felt.
After her week in the hospital she was moved to a rehab center-the same one my grandma was in when she passed away.  This too brought up strange emotions.  The first time I went to see her in the rehab center I felt a huge lump in my throat, and I immediately got sick to my stomach.  It was so strange being back there, and visiting someone different this time...and knowing that the last time I was there was the night before my other grandma had passed away.  It was a strange, sad feeling to say the least.
Now my grandma, and grandpa, are living in my house with the rest of the family.  My grandpa has been staying with us for the past few weeks, and my grandma just got released from the rehab center this morning.  For those of you who don't know, my grandpa has Alzheimer's.  In my opinion, he has gotten progressively worse in the last year, and it's a little frightening to watch.  He is extremely forgetful, and often terribly confused which leads to moments of intense anger.  I had never really seen this side of him until this past week.  The other day my family went to watch my brother play football at Menlo, and my grandpa came along.  He fell asleep on the way home in the car and when he woke up he didn't know where he was.  He started shaking his head and mumbling to himself.  When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he just wished he could fill in the gaps.  He had forgotten where he was, why he was there, and how he had gotten to this place.  It broke my heart.  I answered all of his questions, and that seemed to ease his mind a little.  But it doesn't always.  Sometimes it makes him really angry.  I think because he is so frustrated by not being able to remember-and i think he is scared.  That day when he woke up, he had tears in his eyes as he mumbled to himself.  I wish I could take that fear from him.  I wish I could make him remember everything.  I wish that the day where he might not remember me, or my family members wasn't coming-but i can't help but believe that it is.
I know that this past month has put an immense amount of stress on my parents.  And yet, they always seem to figure things out.  I am incredibly proud of my parents and admire their strength as well as their marriage everyday.  They are best friends, and they support one another in everything.  They truly meant in "good times and in bad" and I watch them live that out every single day.
I am so glad to have my grandma safe and on her way to recovering.  It will be a long road, and it will continue to be hard at times.  But I am incredibly blessed to have the family that I have, and I know that they will provide all the love, support, and care that she and my grandpa need.

The family at Luke's game-minus Logan. 

Love:
I like to think I'm pretty lucky in love.  Some people wait a really long time for it to come along...but i feel blessed that I didn't have to.  People tease me all the time that I am so young and how can I know...after all we have been together since we were 17 years old.  But i strongly believe that when you fall for someone that young there are two possibilities:
1.  you grow as people and that pushes you apart.  The growth you both experience helps you to see that you are wrong for each other.
or
2.  you grow as people and that grows you together.
Me and him, just keep on growing, and we always end up together.  We just hit our 5 1/2 year mark and I still find things out about him that make me love him more.
We both work, and he goes to school so we don't always see each other as much as I'd like but last week we did finally get to go to the pumpkin patch!  He took me to apple hill for the day which is one of our favorite places to go!  There's this picnic spot there that we both love and its become a special spot for us over the years.

Celebrating our 6 month anniversary at that picnic spot...

Back again around 4 1/2 years...

And this year around 5/12 years :)

And today I got a nice "happy november" surprise from this great guy.  I haven't been feeling well the last few days and today I was off from work.  I was laying bed catching up on my shows when my door swung open and there he was with flowers and starbucks! He spent the rest of the day watching movies and relaxing with me :)  I feel Incredibly lucky.

I love Sunflowers. 

& I love my guy.

The Pursuit of Clothes:
I am constantly on the lookout for new clothes.  It's really a problem.  Especially working where I work-at a mall- I am surrounded by new things.  The worst for me isn't even the store I work in, but the surrounding stores.  I swear the deals at Forever 21 are my kryptonite.  I tell myself I'm not going to shop and then i convince myself "its so cheap though!"  Its horrible.  lol.  My newest addiction is crossroads.  I take my old clothes there and I walk out with clothes that are brand new to me and cost me close to nothing.  I used to find it totally gross to go there at all.  I found it even more gross to wear someone else's clothes...and then I thought about it.  I take really good care of my clothing.  Some of the stuff I take to sell there I have worn once (and I hate to admit it) but some of it I has never even been worn at all.  And a lot of my stuff, they still won't buy it.  So if they are THAT picky, then it can't be that "gross"..and besides that I wash it all anyways.  So what the heck?  Plus, I just spent the last two years of my life being drowned in information about sustainability and greener behaviors.  So i can add that to my list of why i need these new items-hello I'm helping recycle clothing-and thus saving the world.  Right? Right.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Speaking of sticking to it.  For the month of October I gave myself a budget of $100 to shop with.  I went over by $43.  But hey, its a start.  This month I vow to shop less, MUCH less.  I actually think I'm scaring my boyfriend away a little...kind of the opposite of what I'm hoping to have happen after 5 years ;)

So yea. That's that.
A little lengthier than I would like to have my posts...like I said...Im going to try and be better at this.
Bye for now.

If only I could see what the future holds.

So...here's the situation...I've been at my new job for just a little over two months now, and as I've posted before, I love it.  I love working with clothes, and I love helping people pick them out.  Essentially, I shop all day long.
Two days ago, I was offered a new position as a Personal Stylist.  As a personal stylist I would continue to do what I do now, but I would do it on an appointment base only-which to be perfectly honest is very hard for me.  Not the actual appointment part-I actually find that to be a lot of fun.  In an appointment I can go all over the store with whoever I am shopping with.  I can pull together outfits and set them up in a room in advance so that when they arrive they can just try things on.  Its the actual making of the appointment that is stressful to me.  I find it difficult making phone calls to people I've never met and asking them to come in and shop with me. Why the heck would they want to do that?  Why should they trust me to do that for them?  I do enjoy the challenge...but it also stresses me out.
So, do I take a job that is appointment driven after only being with the company for 60 days?  Or, do I stay where I am at, continue to learn and grow from the amazing managers that I have, and try and move on at a later time when I feel more prepared?
Oh, and I have to decide by tomorrow morning.
Wishing I had a crystal ball so I could see into the future....
Praying, and hoping for God's guidance instead.

The Road Im On

Yesterday, I was so lucky to get to go to the Rascal Flatts concert.  My wonderful boyfriend bought the both of us tickets for my birthday.  I am obsessed with country music, and Rascal Flatts would have to be my favorite country band.  I love them!  And I love them even more now that I know what an amazing concert they put on!
I was first introduced to Rascal Flatts back in high school.  I had heard a few of their songs and I liked them.  But there was one song of theirs that REALLY made me fall in love with them.  I actually wrote about it in a previous blog about music and how there seems to be a song attached to so many memories in my life.  "Bless The Broken Road"...is definitely one of those songs.  When I was 15 years old, I experienced my first real heartbreak.  My boyfriend (who I really hadn't been with too long-but really liked), broke up with me out of nowhere.  Needless to say, I was devastated.  I found myself questioning what I had done wrong, and being extremely hard on myself.  I was convinced that no one would ever love me and that I had some sort of problem.  My mom, being the amazing woman that she is, heard "Bless the Broken Road" and shared it with me one day after school.  She told me that she had heard this song and she wanted me to be encouraged by it.  She told me that one day I would figure out why none of these relationships ever worked out-because God had a plan for exactly who I was supposed to be with, and he would bless that broken road.  At 15, I definitely thought she was wrong.  I was convinced no one would ever love me and I would die alone.  Silly, I'm aware, but I couldn't help it.  I experienced a few more heartbreaks along the way...and each time I listened to that song and tried to remind myself that it wasn't meant to be.
Last night, I slow danced under the stars to "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts with my boyfriend of  over five years.  You wouldn't think a concert would be emotional, or spark such strong feelings, but that moment really did for me.  I honestly welled up with tears as we swayed back and forth, and I sang along with the words.  I felt so lucky looking back on my road and seeing where I came from and where I am now.   I feel incredibly blessed to have my guy in my life, and I felt that so much in that moment.  Same song, several years later, entirely different meaning in my life.  God blessed my broken road, and led me straight into those loving arms.  I am incredibly grateful for his plan, and for all the things that never worked out before.

"Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you"

   I Love You!

Not "Just Another Year Older"

Today is my 23rd birthday...Usually, I love my birthday and make a HUGE deal out of it.  I jokingly call September my "birth month" and insist that the entire month should be spent celebrating me-so what if I'm not really joking? :)
This year has felt different though...
I didn't count down the weeks and days...I didn't plan a party...I'm not going anywhere out of town...and I  only took one day off from work instead of the usual week.
I was thinking about my lack of enthusiasm for the last few days and even started to feel a little depressed that I would just be "another year older."
And then yesterday, as I was feeling sorry for myself, I just started to feel really grateful.  Grateful to be celebrating another year of life, when we aren't even guaranteed a day.  Grateful to have the friends and family in my life that I do have and that care about me very much.  And ultimately really grateful for the things that happened while being 22.
While I was 22...
I worked a job, was a full time student, commuted to San Francisco for school, and got straight A's, before graduating this past May.
I made some new friendships, and strengthened some old.
I fell even more in love with my amazing boyfriend, and we celebrated 5 years together.
I found a job that I really enjoy, that will ultimately use my degree and my passion.
I took steps toward my future-steps that I feel good about.
I worked through some fears with the help of my family and my God.
And, I learned I'm stronger than I knew.
I did a lot of great things at 22.  I learned a lot and I accomplished some things that I am truly proud of.  Im excited to see what God has in store for year 23.
I have a feeling this is going to be another great year.

Proud Sister

I am the oldest sister to two pretty awesome brothers.  Sometimes, they drive me absolutely nuts, but for the most time, they are really great friends.  They protect me, look out for me, make me laugh, and treat me with respect.  They are amazing guys, and I am very lucky to call them my brothers-even though sometimes I try to deny our relation. :)  

Today, was a pretty cool day for one of my brothers.  The older of the two started for the first time in a college football game  What a fun thing to watch!  The road to this game has not been easy.  Its been two years of frustration, sweat, blood, tears, and disappointment.  But today, we got to watch him play again.  

A group of nine of us all piled into two cars and made the drive to Menlo for the first game of the season.  We grabbed sandwiches on the way and "tailgated" before the game began.

The coin was tossed and Menlo opted to start the game on defense.  After holding the other team and forcing them to punt, offense took the field.  It was at this moment that I realized how nervous and excited I was for my brother.  He had been told so many times- "you'll start, you'll play"...and yet you just never know until they run out onto the field.  As he ran out there as an offensive starter I let out a squeal!  I saw tears form in my moms eyes, and my dad swelled up with pride.  He did it!  Sweat, tears, frustration, and two years of so much hard work- and finally he was back out there on that field where he belongs.  Just like I feel like Im at home doing anything fashion related-he looks so at home out their on that football field.  I watched with pride as he stayed on his guy all day long-pushing back guys bigger than him, and always playing past the whistle.  I watched as he cheered on his team on and off the field.  I watched as he got frustrated-as any good player does-when things weren't going right.  And I watched him run off the field after his first college start with his head, and his helmet held high.  This day was so much more emotional than I thought it would be, and I can't imagine how he must have felt.  All I know is how I felt-and that was extremely proud.  

So brother,

This post is for you.  To tell you how proud I am of you.  To tell you how happy I am for you-that today finally came.  I thoroughly enjoyed watching you out there.  You are a wonderful player, and a great leader, and I am proud to have you as my brother.  I look forward to watching you start the rest of this season :)  GO MENLO OAKS!!!!!!

My Family

Proud daddy! 

Luke & Uncle Dan

The Gang

She cried when he ran out on the field :)

I hope this does't embarrass you brother lol.  Love you.

 

My "Sunday Funday"

I now, thanks to my new job, have every Sunday off-and this is a wonderful thing.  I love Sundays.  I love getting up and going to church, and going out to lunch with my family, and spending the rest of the day relaxing!  On this particular Sunday, I decided to do some arts & crafts. LOL.  So I took a trip to Joanne with my mom-and spent over an hour looking for things I could try to make or use to make something I already had into something new...up-cycling!  A concept I am very familiar with from my days at San Francisco State University where the goal was always sustainability and recycling.  So I thought I would share a little bit of what I did today...I hope everyone else is enjoying there Sunday!

I took an old Forever 21 T-shirt that I never wear, and added some flowers to make it something I  WILL wear.

And again-a basic tee from Target, with just a little added touch!

And this purple chain necklace-so cute, and so simple to make!

  I have a few other projects I'm working on...I'll upload when they are finished!

  Happy Sunday everyone!

Fabulous Find Friday!

So...I might be a slight shopping addict.  Okay, more like a MAJOR shopping addict!  But at least I am always shopping for a bargain.  I tend to shop at place like Ross and TJ Maxx, and Marshalls.  With how quickly fashion trends change, and how much I like to stay up on them, I think its smarter to spend less money on my clothes.  Today, I spent the morning shopping with my mom.  She is in the process of losing weight, and has already done such a great job!  As a result, she was looking for some tops that fit her a little better so we headed out to TJ Maxx.  We found her a few really cute tops and of course I looked for myself as well- and I found these boots:

I don't know the brand, and I don't know what store they originally came from.  But when I put them on my feet, I instantly had to have them.  I love how edgy they are.  The buckles, and the scuffed up toes, and the mix of the leather and canvas.  LOVE! And the best part...this fabulous find only set me back $30.  Yep, totally worth it.

A song intertwined with a memory

It's amazing how a song can take you right back to a specific time, a long lost memory, a special moment.  A song can speak feelings that can't be put into words.  It can summarize your thoughts and express them in a way that you yourself cannot do.  Throughout the course of my life, there have been many songs that have spoken to me, gotten me through rough times, and even expressed how I felt about other people.
I have put many songs on repeat and played them until their words were embedded in my brain.  To this day, those songs can take me right back to those memories.

I remember my first real broken heart.  I was in high school and my boyfriend had just broken up with me, rocking my entire world.  One day after school, my mom picked me up and told me she had heard a song that she wanted me to hear.  Sitting in the car that day I heard for the first time "God Blessed the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.  As tears began to roll down my eyes, I knew this song would ultimately be true in my life.  Someday God would lead me straight to the person that he had planned for me to be with.  For the next several months as I worked through my heartache, I had that song on repeat.  To this day, my brother can't stand hearing that song because he says I "overplayed" it.  :)  But for me that song was like therapy, and a constant reminder that I was okay.  Every time I hear that song, I think of that day in the car with my mom, and it reminds me of how far I have come.

Several years ago, my family started a Sly Park camping trip tradition.  Unfortunately this year we were unable to go-but hopefully next year we will be able to find the time!  This camping trip is something I look forward to so much-and every year it revolves around music.  Before we go, we download the new Brad Paisley, and add it to all of his old hits.  We spend the week out on the boat, relaxing around the campfire, and enjoying the time together.  We sing along as my brother plays guitar, and we wakeboard to the amazing talent of Brad Paisley.  I can't even listen to Brad Paisley without thinking of going camping with my family, and every time he releases a new song, we all feel like its time to go camping again!

My best friend Nicole has been in my life since I was in high school.  We have been friends through a lot of ups and downs.  We have stood by each other through some serious trials in life.  When we were still in high school we heard the song "When I look to sky" by Train, and fell in love.  For weeks we listened to it on constant repeat as we choreographed a dance routine to it.  Every singly time I  hear that song not only do I think of our friendship, but it takes me right back to those days where we spent hours together choreographing our dance.  That song is a reminder to me to be thankful for my wonderful friend and to remember that "When I look to the sky, something tells me you're here with me, and you make everything alright."

In the last two years, I have lost a lot of people in my life.  Some I was very close too, and some I only knew through other people.  But all people who had some kind of impact on my life.  As my world seemed to be crumbling around me, and I was losing people left and right, I felt really lost and alone.  It was around this time that my brother played a song for me by a group called Among the Thirsty called "I'd Need a Savior."  The words spoke to me and helped me to cry out to God.  Through this song, I was able to pray and focus, and really deal with all the sadness I felt.  Now every time I hear that song, I not only remember the people in my life that I have lost, but it reminds me that God is always there for me no matter what and that this life is all in his plan.

Last night, I was at home with my family.  My brother is going back to school tomorrow and so we were just hanging out having dinner and relaxing.  We were listening to music and I remembered a song that I had heard at my work the day before that I fell in love with.  It's called "I can't wait" by Runner Runner. It's amazing and when I heard it it gave me chills.  The jist of the song is a guy singing about the girl he is in love with...that he can't wait for her to be his wife.  It's so sweet, and obviously made me think of my boyfriend and the love that we share.  I played it for my family and for him and I could tell my family loved the song too.  My brother busted out the guitar and started learning the chords and singing along.  This song made my parents think of their marriage and the songs sung at their wedding.  So my dad sat down at the computer and pulled up all the songs that were apart of their special day and they began to tell us stories about it.  It was a lot of fun to listen to them tell what happened and who sang what and then to listen to each song that was sung.  It was like going back 28 years to their wedding.  (They just celebrated 28 years of marriage together-I am incredibly blessed by the example of love that they have given me.)

Certain songs  can spark memories, sooth the soul, and speak to the heart.  What a powerful influence music can have on the world, and on your life.  I know music has continually impacted my life, and can instantly take me right back to a memory.

Thankful Thursday

While I myself have only been a "blogger" for 3 days now, over the past few years I have run across a few blogs that I enjoyed reading.  As I scanned through various peoples posts I found that many people posted something called "Thankful Thursdays" and I loved the idea.  It's important in this crazy world to slow down for a minute and really just be thankful for what you have...So here are a few things I'm thankful for this particular Thursday...


...I'm thankful for a God who loves me more than I can begin to comprehend.  Who is always there for me, and whose blessings overwhelm me.

...I'm thankful for my wonderful family.  They say you don't get to pick who your family is...but honestly if I had the choice, I wouldn't pick anyone else.  I am incredibly lucky.

...I'm thankful for the amazing guy that I have in my life.  It's a wonderful thing to be in love with your best friend.

...I'm thankful for the friends in my life who are there for me no questions asked, and even if it's been awhile since I've seen them...it's like no time lost.

...I'm thankful for my job.  Not only that I have one, but that I enjoy it.

...I'm thankful for caffeine.  I'm not sure how I would make it through the day without it.

...I'm thankful for the roof over my head, and the floor beneath my feet.

...I'm thankful for my warm comfy bed that I'm about to snuggle into.

There are so many things in this life to be thankful for.

"Be thankful for what you have; 

you'll end up having more. 

If you concentrate on what you don't have, 

you will never, ever have enough."

-Oprah Winfrey

That "coming home" feeling

On July 5th of this year I embarked on a new adventure in my life as I left my current job  and accepted a new job at Nordstrom.  I've been there almost a month to the day-and I am in love.  You know that feeling of coming home after a long trip and all you want to do is sleep in your own bed?  That's exactly how this new job feels to me-it feels like going home.  After several years of being treated badly in the work place, and never being recognized for anything I did right-yet always being called out for what I did wrong-It feels amazing to be in a place where this is not the case.  I receive reviews, and always know exactly where I stand.  I can check my progress, and always know what I need to do to improve.  There's open communication, and open doors.  And even better than all of this-there's CLOTHES!

For those of you know me, you know what a clothes-horse I am.  I LOVE shopping.  (This is probably the best as well as the most dangerous aspect of my new job-its important that I walk away with some sort of paycheck which is difficult with the new clothes we get in every single day! lol)  The hardest part of this job?  Commission Sales.  On the one hand commission is wonderful-you can make some good money.  BUT on the other hand commission can bring out the worst in people, and can make for an extremely competitive work environment.  This was probably the scariest part of this new job for me.  I had never experienced commissioned sales before, and I had no idea really how to sell.  But here's where that "coming home" feeling comes in again-I don't feel like I'm selling-I'm shopping with new friends all day every day.  I've picked out outfits for ladies to wear to weddings; I've helped high school girls do their back to school shopping;  I spent two hours with a woman who had a one year old baby girl and hadn't shopped in two years and needed a new wardrobe; and I met a little woman who comes in at least once a week and just wanders around.  I look forward to her visits-and she is just delighted I remember her name.  These things might seem silly, or unimportant to some people.  After all, I'm "just a sales girl" but, I really do love it.  I love that everyday I can use a passion of mine and share it with others in a way that truly can impact their life.  I love setting up a room for someone and them thanking me for all the cute outfits I put together for them.  I love being asked my opinion, because someone trusts my sense of style.  I love that feeling of helping others feel good in their own skin just by putting on a new outfit.  I now look forward to work every single day, and THAT is a new adventure in itself.

Feel free to stop by sometime and visit me at my "home".  

Why Blog?

I recently completed a 30 day photo challenge on Facebook, and became inspired.  I loved taking a few minutes each day to share something that was actually meaningful to me,  Then a few days ago I was talking to my boyfriend about how much I had enjoyed that challenge and that I missed having that outlet for my thoughts, and he told me I should "start a blog!"  I'm not entirely sure where it will go, or what I will share, but I am looking forward to capturing moments of my life in writing.

Here are a few of my days during the 30 day challenge:

 Day 1-A picture of yourself with ten facts
1: I'm 22 years old
2: I have a few wonderful friends that I don't know what i would do without
3: My family is absolutely amazing
4: i just graduated from San Francisco State University
5: I could literally go shopping everyday
6: I never have anything to wear, even though my closet is full to the max
7: I love Jesus
8: I want a new job more than anything at the moment (prayers please ♥)
9: Someday I am going to marry that boy I am so in love with ♥
10: I eat tomatoes like apples. yumm. lol

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
My entire family-they have ALWAYS been there for me, and I know they ALWAYS will be. I am so incredibly blessed to have them. ♥

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without. Kyle Andrew Haubert♥ my absolute best friend, and the love of my life. He has made such a positive impact in my life, and I am so grateful for him every single day. Love you baby!












Until next time...