Practicing Faith.

Sometimes life just feels heavy...and scary.  As I shared in my last post-our house is now quite chaotic with the addition of my grandparents.  Things with them are pretty much the same.  My grandma is continuing with her rehab, and the nurses are still trying to find the right combination of medication that will help with the pain-which seems to still be very intense.  My grandpa is as busy, and confused as ever.  This morning he tried to turn the TV on with my cell phone, and when my computer started playing music he thought my phone was receiving a message.  He is absolutely hilarious-and at the same time, watching him scares me to death.  I have an extreme fear of death...at certain times in my life this fear has been literally crippling to me...its something I am constantly trying to deal with.  I heard in a worship song one Sunday morning the words, "As I walk from earth into eternity..."  What a peaceful image of death...I try to hang on to that thought, and remind myself of those words when I am feeling scared...and I practice faith.  I try to remember that God has this all planned out...and its really up to him how this all goes.  Thats a hard concept to grasp, and a hard thing to let go of.  But surely if he gave up his life for me, then I can trust him with mine.

This past weekend my brother came home from school for a visit, and to get a little support before going back for a doctors appointment.  My brother plays college football and during his last game he injured his neck.  As a result of whatever he injured, he is now experiencing some numbness down his arms and into his hands-talk about scary.  He went in yesterday for some X-rays and those came back showing nothing so tomorrow he goes in for an MRI.  I am praying for him, and thinking of him constantly-but ultimately Im trying to step out in faith.  To know that God already knows whats wrong, and that it's all a part of his plan.

Even when life seems heavy...unfair...complicated...you just have to keep the faith.  Remember that God has a bigger, far better plan than anything you can possibly imagine.  That life is just a journey, full of events, that keep you walking on into eternity.